Goodbyes and real friendship in Peru

I got one of the best despedidas/goodbyes ever in Peru; it lasted 3 days. First, on Saturday night, nearly everyone from Inppares held a party for me at Aurora's house. We drank a lot of wine, pisco, and sangria, laughed, and told stories for hours.

I got there at 8:30 and the party dissolved around 3am. I only cried once, when Manuel and Steffanie were the first to leave. Still have some great photos.

The photos from that night are hilarious, but the videos are even better. I have to upload them to Youtube and it's going to take awhile.

On Sunday, Rosario gave me a book of Peruvian slang, Mayra and Andre and Fernando called me to wish me a safe trip, and my host family cooked a tasty lunch for all of us.

I was really depressed on Sunday, thinking about my flight at 11pm. I accompanied Renzo on one last random taxi journey through the nearby districts. He ate some camote chips and stuck the bag into a bottle of Inca Kola, and we declared it the most Peruvian trash ever.

When we got back to the apartment, we drew/burned on the ceiling with a lighter and the smoke it produced.

Juan Pedro came all the way from Comas to give me a jersey from Inppares that says "Condones, Yes!" and his last name on the back. Then he accompanied Gian Franco and me to La Marina to purchase the Peru jacket I have been wanting for so long, and an indigenous-cloth-style purse. I found the jacket I wanted immediately, and for a great price! It took awhile longer to find the bag I wanted, and we literally went through every store. I have to admit that I also was dawdling because I didn't want them to leave.

But they didn't want to leave either! We went to a chifa restaurant beneath Raul's apartment (although we didn't see him) and I had a little bit of wantan soup. I was feeling sick with sadness about leaving so I couldn't really eat and I cried at the dinner table and used up almost all the napkins. The boys comforted me and we took some group pictures. :)

After dinner, they accompanied me back to my apartment, went to Inppares for a bit while I collected my bags, and came back to help me get my bags downstairs. Unfortunately my host parents did not seem to understand the urgency of getting to the airport early, because it was 8:30 and my host mom was watching comedies, Renzo was nowhere to be seen, and my host dad was far away with the car, heading towards the house. We ended up not leaving until after 9pm, whereas Gian Franco and Juan Pedro left for the airport in a bus 15 minutes earlier, so they could meet me there and send me off.

My host parents dropped me off on the street at the airport, my host sister didn't say goodbye to me or even get out of the car to hug me, and Renzo never made it. Because I couldn't see the boys and was running late, I decided to head in by myself. But Juan Pedro and Gian Franco came running and each grabbed one of my bags to help me. :) We went into the airport, I got in an incredibly long line, and …nothing happened in the line. I signed a paper saying I would be on the flight, but the plane was delayed by an hour so every single person in the huge line had to reschedule their connecting flights in other cities. For 20 minutes I stood in the same spot, then asked an official if I could bring my friends with me in the line to chat while I waited. They said, sure thing, line's not going anywhere fast, so I went out of line and chatted with Juan Pedro and Gian Franco. We took some more photos to remember the day by, and I was reasonably okay with leaving Peru, compared to the intense depression of earlier in the day.

They were thinking about leaving to get back to their houses, because it was late at night and they had work in the morning. Juan Pedro gave me his business card with his number because I had sold my phone, saying, "I have a feeling you're going to need this. If anything happens later, call me." They said they'd wait for a little while longer, until I checked my bag, then head out.

When I went back to take my place in line, because I was promised my place would be guarded, the line was gone and the official told me they had closed the flight 10 minutes ago. I had the most impressive breakdown of my life, genuinely humiliated, sweating a ton, and crying on the counter. Turns out there were no more flights until the following evening, so the lady took pity on me and booked me the next day's flights without charging me extra. (I didn't realize until I got on the plane today, but she gave me first class on all 3 flights!)

Hanging my head and wiping off my face, I trudged back to the boys, who were waiting for me outside the check-in area. I told them I missed my flight and described what happened. They were sympathetic and stunned for a little bit, then Juan Pedro started cracking up and congratulating me on one more day in Peru. We figured out that I'd stay at Gian Franco's house in Surco, bring my luggage with me to Inppares the next day (because they had work), and get to the airport really early.

Gian Franco and I took the long taxi ride to his house (40 min), met his sister, ate some delicious salad and fried fish, and headed to sleep.

The next day I went to Inppares with all my luggage. Andre couldn't believe I was there! I had a fun day just hanging around, helping when I could.

I took advantage of the extra day to say goodbye to the people in the store I always ate triples and snacks.

As we were leaving for the airport, I bought one last cake and strawberry milk shake from the tienda de los guapos next to Inppares. Rosario and Andre didn't come all the way to the airport, but they did walk with us to the taxi. Juan Pedro and Gian Franco sat with me in the back all the way to Callao to get to the airport. I checked in my bag with no problems whatsoever, and barely a line this time. It pays to get to the airport early!

We were so early that we went upstairs, looking for wine, didn't find any, and decided to leave the airport to find some. We found a "hole in the wall" place right next to the airport, ordered some wine, and Gian Franco got a big bottle of Cusquena beer.

We drank all the wine and the beer too! We pretended we were at Machu Picchu! The bottle of wine was my favorite kind: sweet Santiago Queriolo. It is also incredibly cheap, only 18 soles or $6. 

Sometimes we got serious, though. Juan Pedro declared a toast to friendship and I really felt the love. Gian Franco gave me a shirt of his to remember him by, and his old ID. 

We took some funny videos. This is me describing the FUA: 

Some tipsy pictures celebrating my last night in Peru, instead of mourning it.

My last picture of the boys, being drunk and silly in front of poster of a Peruvian boy.

We walked to the parting location and saw a bunch of people embracing and crying. Juan Pedro, joking as always, said, "Look at that guy crying like a dumbass," and I cracked up at his intentional insensitivity. The boys and I shared some very sentimental words and a ton of hugs. I didn't cry saying goodbye because I was tipsy and they were smiling and hugging me more and more. I walked through a pathway and they appeared on the other side to hug me again. :) When I got past the gate, I realized there was no way to go back and hug them one more time, and I almost started crying. Instead I just kept going forward, walked smoothly through the stamping of my passport, and headed for my plane gate.

I met some other Americans in the airport who loved Peru but I had a really hard time relating to them. They had been in Peru for 10 days or 3 weeks, a tiny amount of time, backpacking, not speaking Spanish, not liking Lima, not really knowing the culture, not missing Peruvian friends. I got depressed talking to them so I stopped haha.

When I got on the plane, someone had puked on the hallway leading to the plane, and tipsy me thought that was hilarious. In the background is the tall white guy who had backpacked through Cusco and thought it was a "shame" that I had spent so much time in Lima. Goddamn, how insulting to me and my friends, but he didn't realize it. I expect I'll encounter a fair amount more of people who don't understand why Lima is so great and why Peru is so similar to the US in all the ways that matter for making profound social connections and international brotherhood, and different from the US in so many beautiful and culturally significant ways.

I had no problems on my flights, enjoyed the first class, but had some cultural shock: remembering to speak in English, remembering to flush the toilet paper, having to pay $3 (9 soles) for water on the plane.

Thus ends my amazing 10 weeks in Peru. I plan to go back to Lima after graduation to live there for at least a year but likely more. I really miss my Peruvian friends but they chat with me all the time on Facebook. :) I don't know what I expected when I applied for a scholarship to go to Lima for the summer, but I got so much more than career development. I didn't blend in, but I definitely fit in. I got a ton of help from everyone every day, but in the end I was there by myself, my own choice, almost completely funded by my own effort, doing only exactly what I wanted to do, with no other Americans or even English-speakers. It was a huge personal success, made much more valuable by the lifelong friends I made there, to whom I could tell anything, who took me everywhere with them because they wanted to, who taught me everything with respect and patience, with whom I have shared adventures, secrets, advice, laughter until we cried, and tears until we laughed. I am so grateful. 

Sunday Aug 7 in Lima :)

Today I went with Gian Franco to Gamarra, a busy street market filled with the cheapest clothing shops in Lima. It is located in La Victoria, a fairly dangerous district, so I didn't bring my camera and I put all my bills in my bra. He hunted around for deals on shoes and I looked for sport jackets that said PERU because everyone here wears them. I found a bunch, but the styles I really wanted were only in men's sizes. :( I ended up finding a really awesome shirt with the Nasca Peru logo on it for only 18 soles, about 6 dollars, in a perfect fit. I think I will go back to find a jacket with Renzo if he ever comes home from Cajamarca.

Then Gian Franco and I took a bus to el Centro de Lima, walked around the Mercado Central for a little while, then went to the Convento de San Francisco  to see the Catacumbas. 

We toured the whole church, which turned out to be a lot bigger than I thought it would be, with tons of priceless paintings, silver and gold artifacts of the church, and architectural attractions. My favorite piece of art was a Virgin Mary painting in which her dress was an Arabic style-print! Devastated that I can't find a photo of this online.

We saw a huuuuuuge painting of the Last Supper covering an entire wall, but it was Peruvian-style: round table, cuy and bread and potatoes being served instead of bread and wine, children and dogs around the table, and a number of other neat differences including a devil over Judas' shoulder and the king who sponsored the painting appearing in the background.

Then we went down into the Catacumbas, the floor beneath the church that was filled with bones of Limenos from the distant past. The piles of skulls creeped me out a little bit, but some of the bone collections were arranged in really pretty patterns. I was sad we couldn’t go down to the floor beneath that one, because the guide said it was closed to the public to avoid accidents, the ceiling wasn't completely sturdy.

Our tour group was really big and included some noisy children, so I didn't get to hear most of what the guide was saying. But it was a really awesome tour for only 7 soles.

Then Gian Franco and I walked around the Calle Capon and the Plaza de las Armas, saw a military parade, and went to get dinner (which for me was also breakfast and lunch because lately I have forgotten when and how to eat, apparently). I ordered cebiche and lomo saltado, but I forgot to ask for my cebiche with no aji. :( So it was epically spicy and I had to give a lot of it to Gian Franco. I ate all of the lomo saltado, though, and its juices mixed with the French fries were soooooo good. Only 9 soles!

We walked through the Real Plaza (where I went last night too), passed through the Parque de la Exposicion, overheard a hiphop concert, and visited a few more parks.

We walked all the way to Av. Salaverry, talking about the differences between Peruvian and American holiday traditions, the Gian Franco embarked me back to my house. It was a relaxing and fun day, fun of memories even though I didn't have my camera with me. And I really love my Peru shirt. :)

Saturday: Reunion and Violence Lecture

Today I arrived at work for a reunion of the volunteers for el Centro Juvenil Futuro. We chatted a little about upcoming events and I mostly just listened. Then I got invited to go to Villa El Salvador with Juan Pedro and Ronald for a presentation about different types of violence to a group of adolescents. It was pretty awesome!

Juan Pedro fell asleep on the bus. :)

Our failed dynamic that turned into injury. We had to pretend we were a train of dragons and the front of the dragon had to grab a piece of paper that was a tail for the other dragon. But we went too fast and a girl on the tail got whiplashed into a cactus plant.... Poor thing! She had just a little scrape but we definitely killed that cactus, which apparently was beloved by the doctor in charge of the clinic.

The kids at the taller acted out their scenes of violence of different types (family, institutional, partner) and then how to solve them or alternatives. It turned out to be more humorous for them than serious, but they had some good solutions like calling the police or speaking with less aggression.

They also had to create "trees of problems" with homophobia and machismo, where they had to identify the causes as the roots and the effects as the leaves. A mildly homophobic girl was tasked with leading the group on homophobia, and that was interesting. She came up with a lot of the main problems, like violence, discrimination in the workplace, suicide, etc. I loved how she said one of the problems could be that someone in their group or class might be gay, bisexual, lesbian, trans etc, and be afraid to say so because of fear of rejection or taunts. That would be ME! I really wanted to tell her after the lecture that I'm bisexual, because she seemed to express that non-straight people are always strange or different or too flirty with everyone, yet she liked me. She said, "I really respect their rights but I don't want them near me." Yeah..... yet she listened to me and kissed me on the cheek just like everyone else. Ronald said during the next lecture he'll share with them that I'm not straight, because they're going to talk about sexual diversity anyway.

During the violence lecture, I shared a personal story about how I recognized a Peruvian friend's behavior as unusual and weird, and that I refused to meet up with him alone to "talk" when I knew he was mad at me for not wanting to have sex with him. I told them that yes, I almost certainly lost that friendship but he only wanted to talk to me alone, at his house or a place far from other people, and I know that my safety is worth more than a friendship that was messed up in the first place.  I shared with them how his words were violent psychologically and it is important to recognize violence before it has a chance to really hurt you.

We went to the Center of Lima to buy a computer part, then walked through the Real Plaza. I saw UNC's 2009 victory on TVs for sale, freaked out big time and jumped up and down. Ronald witnessed it and took pictures too.

Dancers in the mall. We went into the Real Plaza en el Centro de Lima to use the bathroom in the Metropolitano station, then came across an event with people in pajamas dancing and animating the crowd.

Tasty food! It was only 4 soles. The bowl of chicken soup was incredible with lime in it, I ate every drop. The chicken was "poor people's chicken", said Ronald, because there was only a tiny bit of meat and a lot of fat and weird chickeny stuff. But it was awesome for 4 soles.

Cusco Trip Day 1: 23-hour bus ride and arrival

I was ever so grateful that Renzo's boss paid for first-class....but I had to pay my own fare. At least it was really comfy and easy to sleep because our seats turned into beds.

We took the same southern route to Ica and Nasca, so the route was desert for hours and hours. I fell asleep and woke up to the most incredible mountain scenery.

Even the rest stops were so beautiful they deserved photos.

This woman was cooking chicharrones and let me take her picture.

Rest stop #2.

This is our bus. We were on the bottom in first class, with a door separating us from the bathroom, a little quieter except for the engine right behind us, and less likely to vomit because we were closer to the ground and there were fewer people. Woo.

I gasped when I saw the snow-covered Andes peaks for the first time. Breathtaking.

My first view of Cusco...orange! :) This was about 22 hours after getting on the bus... I can't believe I stayed still for so long! I am really glad I got to see the countryside this way, but next time I am definitely shelling out the $60 extra to take a plane unless I want to kill time or read a book.

When we got to Cusco, we dropped off our stuff at Renzo's hotel, took much-needed bathroom breaks in a finally-clean bathroom, went out to dinner, and then the boys all went skateboarding. They were there for a skateboarding championship the next day, and I was lucky to be able to stay with them for free, although I didn't get my own bed. :/ While they went skateboarding, I walked around the area and ran into the Convent of Santo Domingo, which was built from the rocks of the Templo Mayor of the Incas. No one knows why the Spaniards didn't destroy the entire temple, which was perfectly constructed with rocks so well-shaped that they do not need cement between them. Check out the difference.

I saw some traditionally dancers in the street and watched their awesome demonstrations!

Our hotel room with my coca tea. It helps cure altitude sickness although I didn't really get sick. 

And finally, my dinner, pollo a la brasa!

Funeral of Enrique's Father

Yesterday I learned before going to Inppares that Enrique's father passed away, inevitable but sooner than we thought. I spent a few hours itching to go to Carabayllo (up to 90 minutes away from Inppares and a trip much safer in a group) to comfort Enrique and finally Juan Pedro was ready to go at 5:30pm. We first collected money from people in Inppares, went to Comas to order flowers, then ate food at his house while the floral arrangements were being made. I learned that their house only receives water from 5:30-8:30 in the morning, so they store it in bins and use buckets to flush their toilets. 

After eating an egg, coffee, and some bread, we picked up the flowers and headed in a car all the way to Carabayllo to the wake of Enrique's father. Everyone was stressed and sad, and we chatted for awhile in the driveway. There were lots of people crying and lots of relatives. I didn't get much time to talk to Enrique or his twin Manuel, but they introduced me to their family members and showed me the casket. I left wondering what the funeral would be like the next day.

Today I got up really early, got ready, and met Gisella and her husband and Aurora at the Papa John's so we could all go to the funeral together. We met up with Gian Franco and Victor, two other people from Inppares, on the Metropolitano and went to Carabayllo. Fortunately the atmosphere of the pre-funeral (it was at 5 and we arrived at 11am) was a lot lighter than the wake. Although the twins were very sad and had to greet a lot of devastated relatives, we took some time to joke together in the Inppares circle, ate lunch together, and laughed a lot. I was SO relieved to see Manuel and Enrique smiling and laughing, sometimes cracking up so much they had to bend over. Unfortunately this got cut off every time another sad relative walked in. Once Enrique greeted a crying aunt of his, then later realized she was his great-aunt. He said some of these relatives he had never met before. :) 

A huge crowd gathered and the relatives carried the casket several blocks down the street. This tradition seemed excruciatingly painful, emotionally, and it was difficult to watch. Enrique and Manuel carried the front and bent down three times in succession for some reason I'm not sure of, the carriers rotated in a circle, then everyone applauded. This happened several times. The crowd sang a sad hymn and flower petals and stems got tossed on the casket, sometimes hitting the carriers in the face. It must have been so heavy and difficult to carry. I took a silent, nonflash picture quickly to remember this emotional moment. 

They put the casket in a hearse and the dozens of guests filed into two full-size buses and a number of waiting taxis. The family had their own special van, covered in the flowers arrangements from the wake.  We drove all the way to Puente Piedra, ten or fifteen minutes, to a special cemetery in the style of US cemeteries. It was beautiful, peaceful, and clean.

During the ceremony, the preacher read a few Bible quotes and gave a short discourse about them, even though at least two of the Lino children are atheists (the rest of the extended family is surely Catholic). Sad music played. Each of the four children got up to say a few words, and so did one of his brothers. The daughter's speech made me cry big time, as she talked about what a great father and man her dad was. I only met him once, and he was very sick then, but I have heard a lot about him from Enrique and learned more today.

I liked that the twins went up together to give their speeches, each standing with one arm wrapped around his brother. Enrique's words were so inspiring. I can't recall all of them, but I loved most that he said, "Remember that every one of our tears now was a smile my father had in life. We have to move forward and remember him how he was, making jokes up until the very end." 

During the service, I looked over at Enrique to see him as forlorn as I had ever seen him, looking blank and helpless. As the casket was lowered into the grave, Enrique's mom and sister cried loudly and it was painfully sad. The men cried too, but more quietly. 

After the service, the guests formed a huge line to give their condolences to the family. This cultural protocol seemed unreasonably difficult for the family in my opinion, and I was displeased that I would have to add to their suffering if I wanted to say goodbye to my friends and give them a hug. I cried thinking about it, but eventually was forced to join the line or else leave without saying goodbye (no way). 

It was a challenging day. No matter what the cause or how expected a death might be, no one wants to see children without their father, parents without their son, and a wife without her beloved husband. I thought a lot about my family and what this day means for my life. Tomorrow I'll have the chance to comfort Enrique because he's coming to Inppares and I think we'll go see a movie. 

Rest in peace, Julio Lino Rivera. I only met you once but you were funny and kind and raised some awesome children. :)

Thursday: Leadership and Carabayllo with Enrique

Seems like my blog posts always start off with food, so here goes. On Thursday, I headed with Enrique to San Martin de Porres to watch him give his leadership presentation to a group of high school students. First we ate fried yucca and aji de gallina. It was AMAZING. Check out the crispy goldenness of this fried yucca. It's like French fries but thicker and different and better. It came with ocopa sauce.

The aji de gallina was kind of like non-spicy curry but better.

The group of students Enrique taught. They started off so nervous but he really taught them confidence and how to lead. I was impressed. :)

The students presenting their example of leadership.

Enrique did a lot of funny stuff to make them laugh and be less nervous, like posing for pictures I was taking.

The girls loved me and kept wanting to talk to me even though I barely did anything. They wanted my email address and my Facebook and photos with me. ;)

After the presentation, we all chatted and I decided I am definitely heading back to that school for one of the sex ed classes! The kids were so nice.

Enrique and I took a few buses to his house in Carabayllo, about two hours from Jesus Maria where I live. He let me sleep on his stomach during the long ride, haha.

Enrique's mom served us delicious mazamorra, which is like a cross between pudding, syrup, and jello, and has fruit inside!! Here's a picture of our tasty mazamorra. My hand is so white it cannot be seen. We had apples and a peach inside of our mazamorra.

Enrique told me about how his family used to live in just a tiny room all together, but his father built the beautiful house in which they currently live, with tile floors and everything. They used to be so poor, but now they all have computers and this is their flatscreen TV. Damn!

Unfortunately, his dad is very sick. I did get a chance to speak with him for just a few minutes, which was a good sign because often he can't speak.

Enrique accompanied me alllll the way back to Jesus Maria, in one combi, one epic fast bus, and one taxi. The epic, fast bus was the Metropolitano, a new system with dedicated lanes and subsequently no traffic that costs the same as the other buses! Only like 1 or 2 soles to take an hour-long trip in half the time. I said, "It's like Japan!" and Enrique was like, "Yep, like Japan." :)